Page 10 - Comfort Zone Sample Chapter
P. 10

Illustration 10-6                                      caring will intensify the angry emotion – and
                                      2.        Angry outburst,    begin a new life event cycle with an increased
            Flight delay,                      self-analysis, ask   risk of an abusive/belligerent outburst.
                                                questions, relax
            feelings of neglect,                     muscles,
            anger,                                     control     How Can We Change the Cycle?
            fear.               Emotions             breathing,
                                                                     If you will review the life event wheel for a
              1.        Perceptions                     snack.     moment, you will notice that I detailed how
                                         Choices                   much control was available at any part of the

                                                                   cycle. I placed the greatest amount of con-
                                                                   trol at the point of behavior; the next greatest

                                                                   tions. I indicated that we had no control over
            Got          Consequences   Actions           3.       amount of control at choices, then percep-
            suppor-                                      Self-     consequences or emotions. Some of you
            tive answer,                              analysis,    might argue that we do have control over
            increased                                 ask ques-    consequences. I would agree somewhat with
            self-knowledge,                         tions, relax
            less fear & anger.                        muscles,     such an argument when the life event wheel is
                                                                   applied outside of the flight environment. We
                              4.                     breathing.    do try to control consequences in many areas
                                                                   of our lives. But if you think about it, once we
               Case #2: Changing Functional Memory:                have behaved, it is far more difficult to control
                        Reducing Anger & Fear                      consequences than if we had considered con-
                                                                   sequences in advance of behavior. We’ll save
           The above illustration details the sequence of events that
           would result in less, rather than more, anger in the fearful/  these subjects for a later discussion.
           angry flier. Under this set of circumstances, fear levels
           would also be reduced. In this illustration, the fearful/  Expanding Our Choices
           angry flier rejects an angry outburst as a possible action,
           and utilizes his control at this point to choose other    The key to change, especially in the flight
           options for the action-element of the life event. Choosing   environment, is for us to exert our efforts in
           the above actions results in a set of consequences which   the choice and action areas of the wheel. We
           in turn change the circumstance/emotion element at the   will expand our choices through acts of self-
           start of a new event.                                   understanding, as well as looking deeper into
                                                                   our perception of the situation. The more we
           Consequences of an Outburst                             understand about ourselves and the situa-
                                                                   tion around us, the greater are our available
              Before studying a behavioral event that will re-     choices.
           duce the likelihood of an angry outburst, let’s look     Of course, direct control of our behavior with
           as the consequences of the angry outburst in order      muscle relaxation and breathing control is es-
           to understand how these consequences in fact in-        sential for everything we do in the aviation
           crease the likelihood of more (and perhaps more         environment. Self-understanding and a deeper
           intense) outbursts.                                     understanding of our situation (the perception
             If you recall, the fearful/angry flier reacts to the   part of the wheel) will have a significant influ-
           flight delay with both fear and anger. He is afraid     ence on both the circumstance, as well as the
           the mechanical problem signals doom for the air-        emotional reactions to the circumstance in the
           craft. He is angry because the mechanical problem       long run. With these facts in mind, let’s discuss
           means that the mechanics just don’t give a damn.        the fearful/angry flier who has engaged in
           After his angry outburst, the feeling that no one       some of the above activities.
           cares is intensified according to the illustration 10-5.   The life event under study here began for
           It is important to note that it is unimportant whether   both fliers when the gate agent announced that
           or not the gate agent and other passengers are irri-    there would be a flight delay due to mechanical
           tated by this man’s outburst. Any normal human will     problems. Anger and fear were the emotional
           undoubtedly react in some manner to a passenger’s       reactions in each person. The second flier,
           outburst. It is the manner in which the fearful/angry   however, considered a wider range of choices
           flier interprets the reaction from those around him     for his behavior in advance of any action.
           and the meaning he gives to it that is important.         By reacting to his fear and anger with self
             Since the feeling of anger grew from the percep-      understanding and curiosity (such as asking
           tion of not caring, the consequence of perceived not    the gate agent a question) he was able to act
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