Page 6 - Comfort Zone Sample Chapter
P. 6

Lesson 10:

         Fear and Anger

         What does ‘fear and anger’ have to do with fear of flying? A lot!

           I                                                    Separating Behavior and Emotion
              would not expect the typical reader of this book
              to ask the question, “What does anger have to
                                                                   Before proceeding with the connections be-
              do with the fear of flying?” A smaller percentage
            of my readers know exactly what anger has to        tween fear and anger, it is very important that I
            do with the fear of flying because they know that   emphasize here the distinction between behaving
            when they become afraid, they become angry.         in an angry manner and feeling angry. If you recall
            The anger comes after the fear. Sometimes the       from lesson 1, I made a sharp distinction between
            fear is not even consciously felt, only the anger.   your behavior and emotion. I pointed out that our
            Most people around the angry flier would not even   self control lies in our ability to control our behav-
            suspect that this person is afraid. Rather he or    ior, not our emotions. It is impossible to directly
            she would be described as anywhere from impa-       control our emotions in the same direct manner
            tient to outright abusive and belligerent.          that we control our behavior.
               At the very least, the angry flier is bothersome    While there are many circumstances where
            to all around him. At greater extremes, the angry   it is appropriate to act as we feel (e.g. act afraid
            flier is frightening to other passengers and crew   when we feel afraid and act angry when we feel
            members and when out of control, the angry flier    angry), there are also many circumstances in life
            is a danger to the flight. Until now, this book has   where it is not appropriate to act as we feel. For
            been about helping the frightened flier achieve     instance, we might feel afraid of some impending
            higher levels of comfort. This lesson is aimed at   examination or professional presentation, but we
            safety as well.                                     all agree it is not appropriate to act afraid of it. In a

               Medication Vs. Relaxation                                                      Illustration 10-1

                                                        We’ve been in a
                                                      holding pattern too
                                                      long. We’re going to
                                                      run out of fuel and

                    This stupid thing is                                             Hey, what’s the
                already two hours late. They                                        matter with you? I
                don’t care that if I miss this                                    ordered a drink a half
                  meeting I’ll probably get                                         hour ago, damn it!
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