Page 9 - Comfort Zone Sample Chapter
P. 9

The mechanics
                                                           are trying to patch it up with           I have
                          They’re trying to fix the        paper clips and rubber bands       some time to spare.
                         airplane. I guess I’ll be on       so they can go home. They         What was that book
                        the test flight. I hope I live          don’t give a damn               you mentioned I
                               through this.                        about us.                    should read?

               We apologize for
               the inconvenience,
               but flight 101 has
              been delayed due to
             mechanical problems.

              Each individual faces unexpected flight
              situations dramatically different ways.

                                                                         Fearful and angry flier
                                                      Fearful flier
            Illustration 10-1                                                                  Comfortable flier
              Illustration 10-4

            development of that event by defining each of     to the feeling of anger created by the flight delay,
            the related parts. If we change any part of the   and follows the self-understanding with relaxed and
            event, we change the nature of the event itself.   friendly behavior instead of belligerent, angry behav-
                                                              ior. Of special note in both of these instances is the
            Choices and Actions                               consequences section of the event wheel.
                                                                The consequences of an action are twofold. First,
              Let’s begin by reviewing illustration 10-3. A
            distinct life event begins with a set of situations   they can either create reassurance or displeasure.
            to which an individual reacts emotionally. The    Second, they determine whether a sequence of
            type of emotional reaction he or she will have    events can either get better, or worse.
            depends upon how a particular circumstance
            is perceived. Based upon these circumstances
            and emotions, an individual then has a num-           Case #1: The Dynamics of an Angry Outburst
            ber of choices to consider as he or she moves      1.        Illustration 10-5
            toward the action portion of the event. While                                                     2.
            the choices portion of the event is based upon     Flight delay,                     Yell at agent, drink
            the perceptions and emotions, it is limited by     feelings of neglect,                  alcohol, pace,
                                                                                                       place angry
            the abilities of the individual to take action.    fear.               Emotions                phone
            Thus while an individual with a gun may shoot                                                    call.
            a charging animal, the same individual without                 Perceptions
            a gun would run from it. Thus, choices are lim-             Situations          Choices
            ited by available actions.
               As applied to the fearful/angry flier, we would
            want to first understand the choices this indi-
            vidual considers with regard to possible ac-                                   Actions
            tions, and potential consequences. As you can       Bad         Consequences
            see, things could get pretty complicated at this    will,
            point. In the interests of simplicity we will study   increased                                  Yell,
            two extreme cases first. Case #1 illustrates the    feeling that                               drink,
                                                                no one cares.
            angry/fearful flier who ultimately reacts with an                                              pace.
            angry outburst. Case #2 illustrates the angry/     4.                                             3.
            fearful flier who reacts with self-understanding
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